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Showing posts from January, 2015

Christmas 2014

Dear Friends and Family – By now, most of you know the routine. This is the anti-holiday letter so if you’re looking for excellent news and sweet family stories … move along. If you want to follow the ancestral lines of the Grinch family, well, you’re reading the right letter.
I’ll start by saying I think I have a stress fracture because of Tommy. If you’ve seen “The Pink Panther” in which Peter Sellers’ “houseboy” constantly attacks him to keep his martial arts skills sharp, please note that this kind of thinking is real. It’s stupid but it’s real. This is my fault as I signed him up for a street-fighting, grappling style of martial arts (his instructor is the real deal!) and Tommy likes to be authentic, thereby attacking me when the house is dark. Now we both creep through the house, neither speaking, both waiting to attack. Katie just likes to attack herself. She does this by passing out, face first on the ground. The first time was when she was standing in line in Austin to atten…

Christmas 2013

Dear Friends and Family – It is that time again … a time when we tell you everything that went wrong in our lives so that you can better appreciate the fullness and joy of your own lives. This idea was created by the highly unsociable Robb who infamously told me almost 15 years ago that people don’t want to read happy, cheery, “our lives are so awesome” letters from people. They want misery and suffering so …
Katie has trichotillomania, the uncontrollable urge to twist and pull her hair. This is the only explanation I can offer that we never got Katie’s graduation pictures done. She was too busy pulling and twisting her hair. She also got pulled over for talking on her cell phone while driving through a school zone while also trying to change from a pair of short to pants while driving and wonders why we didn’t let her take her car to college. She just put in an application at Texas A&M to drive the shuttle buses on and around campus with the goal of being able to “have the lives of…